I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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