If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Randomize
