Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
