How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
tell your sister to shave her snatch
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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