What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
