3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
it's like heaven, but drunker
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
