They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
