i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
