So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
