just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
