Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Randomize
