you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
