what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Randomize
