so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Randomize
