god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Randomize
