No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
