I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
