They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
