I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
