He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
