am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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