What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
