I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
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