I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
