Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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