I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
