fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
