i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
