She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Randomize
