We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
