I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
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