Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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