He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
