You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize
