foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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