I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
