Having a random hookup so left but love u
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Randomize
