she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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