he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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