Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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