Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
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