census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
