So drunk, too bad you don't want this
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
