Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Randomize
