I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Randomize
