How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Randomize
