the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Randomize
