Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Define "chronic" masturbator.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
