found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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