You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
