Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Semen is not good for contacts.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
