Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize
